WOW,Where have you been hiding?
First, if any of those school girls saw you hit a tennis ball, they would have been looking up with a smile every time! Cause you ARE Johnny Cool!
And on a serious note......
I was hoping a guy would write about their experience on the other side. How amazing to think we are all insecure and we all worry about rejection; not being good enough, smart enough, hunky enough, cute enough, nice enough, wearing the right clothes enough.....
But you are also right about the part "nature" plays in our choices. The many studies indicate how significant our genetic wiring is in our picking out our mate. Not only are there facial feature factors there are smells that we are unknowingly attracted to.
Cheech and Chong do a comedy bit that goes way back to when RD was young, they are smelling each others butts like dogs.
Perhaps our cave people ancestors smelled each other prior to mating. We also know that we are hard wired to have several reproductive mates which is one of the reasons that most long term relationships end up going through rough spots. (feel free to read over my other blogs to get that info) During this time we question our love. I honestly haven't met anyone in a long term committed relationship - > 10 years, that can say they feel the same kind of crazy passion that they felt when they first got together.
Most of them have tales of great times followed by difficult times, often problems that made them separate or contemplate divorce. But when I talk to them they say deciding to stick it out was followed by hard work, improved communication and humor, comfort and deeper appreciation for their partner. I am sure humor is one of your tools! And of course your ability to dig deeper and develop insight using your superior intelligence.
So for those of you reading this, wondering what you can possibly get if you stay in your relationship and work through the rough spots, listen to my old (I hope future) tennis partner. (who by the way made me rich playing with him) You get COMFORT with familiarity. Which is what Elva said too. ENOUGH SPARK when you aren't too tired to create it. RESPECT and dedication and trust in the LOYALTY of your partner to stick it out through thick and thin to MAKE IT WORK. And who has the time and ENERGY to sign up on Match.com or worse go to the local bar stool, and keep up with the oodles of admirers wanting to get together. And after all that work not meeting anyone who you want to have to get to know. And if you do you'll most likely end up in the same spot again, at some point deciding to work it through. I'm just sayin.......
You two are lucky and so are your kids!
AND BY THE WAY WHAT IS WITH /&*$#)@ ?
Hello again, Andrea. I've been around. Keeping a low profile. I played tennis the last couple of summers but always take the winters off. I've decided though to probably retire (again) from the game as the knee I had repaired a couple years back is starting to show signs of going south again and I don't want to deal with surgery and all that again so thinking of getting out while the getting is good.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all you said. It's hard for men with our roving eye and hard-wired need to mate with every attractive woman we see. But as we get older and that drive lessens, it gets easier and hopefully we have been good enough for our mates to still at least like us enough to want to keep us around! It is so hard to communicate sometimes. They really should teach those skills in high school. But I suppose if they did, you would not have as many clients!
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Latah,
Scott